Christmas!

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A Christmas Activity

Quite a good activity to begin with, from the British Council.

Digital Nativity

Enjoy this video on how new techs might have changed the forms…or, as the motto says, not the spirit.

Worst 20 Christmas Songs Ever

A definetely BAD way to spend Xmas is through this awful, awful list. But it could be worse. Or could it? (By the way, it's not mine. Just peeked at some «Heckler Spray» website, so all the merit -or fault- is theirs). As well as the inappropiate comments.

20. Back Door Santa

Culprit: Clarence Carter

Ah, Christmas. Snow. The spirit of goodwill to all men. The innocent joy in a child’s eye. Bribing those same children to go away. We’re welling up. We really are.

19. Yellowman Rock

Culprit: Yellowman

Tinpot Christmas reggae as performed by an off-key albino Jamaican. What’s not to like?

18. Merry Christmas With Love

Culprit: Clay Aitken

He’s the father of a child, you know. The mind boggles.

17. Christmas Conga

Culprit: Cyndi Lauper

Incidentally, if you try and telephone Hell in December and all the operators are busy, this is the on-hold music you’ll hear.

16. Santa’s Beard

Culprit: The Beach Boys

Conclusive proof that a fraudulent department store Father Christmas was the catalyst for Brian Wilson‘s decades of mental problems.

15. Christmas Shoes

Culprit: Newsong

The only song on this list where each line manages to be dramatically worse than the one before it, even though it never seems possible. Awful.

14. Eight Days of Xmas

Culprit: Destiny’s Child

“Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?” “Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?” “Doesn’t it feel like Christmas?” “Yes, it feels like Christmas.” Thanks, d***heads. You’ve been a great help.

13. Santa Claus is Coming To Town

Culprit: Bruce Springsteen

Or, as Bruce prefers to call it, Sannak Loss Iscummina Ta! WOO!

12. Santa Baby

Culprit: Madonna

You know what we want for Christmas? Our libido back, please.

11. Christmastime

Culprit: The Smashing Pumpkins

Good. There aren’t enough Christmas songs that sound like carbon monoxide suffocation. Thanks, Billy!

10. Here Comes Santa Claus

Culprit: Gene Autry

Substitute the words ‘Santa Claus’ for ‘Freddy Kruger‘ and you’ll realise why this song gives us the willies so much.

9. Jingle Bell Rock

Culprit: Billy Idol

We heard that if you watch this one all the way through, you get a phone call and you die a week later.

8. A Wonderful Christmas Time

Culprit: Paul McCartney

John Lennon wrote Merry Xmas (War is Over) and got shot. Paul McCartney wrote this abortion and lived. Make of that what you will.

7. Mistletoe And Wine

Culprit: Cliff Richard

No, that’s fine, Cliff. Start the video by peering through a window at a sleeping girl. That’s not creepy at all. You’ll be fine.

6. There’s No One Quite Like Grandma

Culprits: St Winifred’s School Choir

No. Not even ironically.

5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Culprit: Jimmy Boyd

Dear whoever it was who decided to hire a boy with an obvious speech defect to sing a Christmas song with four different ‘s’ sounds in the title alone – you are a genius. Thank you. Signed, the world.

4. Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)

Culprit: John Denver

Essentially the EastEnders Christmas special, but sung in a country and western style by a grown man pretending to be a seven-year-old boy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Oh, wait, there’s everything wrong with that. Our mistake.

3. Do They Know It’s Christmas

Culprits: Band Aid

Interesting fact: the starving children of Africa wrote and released a response record to this, entitled Do You Know You’re All A Load Of Shit-Haired Sanctimonious Wankers?

2. Have A Cheeky Christmas

Culprits: The Cheeky Girls

Jesus Christ, this is like the last five minutes of Requiem For A Dream.

1. Millennium Prayer

Culprit: Cliff Richard

No words. There are no words.

Christmas Is All Around

The video clip from the cover of Wet Wet Wet, by the fictitious Billy Mack, as seen in the film Love Actually. Still don't know if it's good or bad.

Christmas Games

And so, it seems it's time for wasting time in front of a screen watching a big fat bearded man delivering presents… Make it so!

Or try theseand these.

Films

A full movie for Beatle fans!

Not really sure if it's 100% legal… still, enjoy while you can!

And another full movie... for McDonald's fans!

Hope you still enjoy McDonald's after this.

A Christmas Carol

As an introduction, an animated version of the story. Just to get in touch with the characters, the story… and the ghosts!!